Once Again... Why Not

Once, I wrote a post about how I think it would be so great to be stranded on an island, roughing it, surviving. To an extent there was some sarcasm in the post, but in a sense I was being some what truthful. I didn't really know it at the time, but now that I have finished season 4 of lost I realize that, well, it would be pretty cool.

Men dream of the chance to be, Men. That might not make sense so let me try to explain.

What glory is there in a mans life if there is not adventure. A risk. A chance, a chance to prove to everyone that they are men, worthy of a challenge, willing to accept, and able to succeed. I don't think that is too dramatic. I think that is how God made us men. To want to be daring, to live on the edge, that is how I am. God didn't make us men to be emasculated the way we are these days.

Think about it. Do we not have a daring and dangerous God? I think we do. And seeing as how we were made in his image is it wrong to also want to be dangerous, big, bad, and brave? Not dangerous in the murderer, crazed, insane man sense but rather the audacious, honorably noble knight in shiny armor way. I know that is what I want to be.

If you fellow guy readers are interested or intrigued by what I am writing then I suggest you read Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. He puts it a lot better than I ever can. If you have already read it then I hope that you can some how relate to this post.

And after you read the book it is helpful to watch every episode of Lost in a matter of weeks.

Thanking on Christmas...

So this year I have been, well, thoroughly confused on the seasons and such. It doesn't seem like Christmas. It's not cold and we have yet to see some snow. On a typical Christmas season there is the anticipation of opening presents and spending time with family, but this year it just has not happened to me. I took part in the Christmas Eve service at church last night and still, it was not on my mind that I needed to get home cause the family is waiting, anticipating my arrival so we can begin to open the presents.

Call me a Scrooge but I am just not feeling the spirit of the season.

I am however very thankful. Wrong time of the year, [whose to say I can't be thankful anytime of the year, right?] maybe. I am just so happy with where I am at with my life. I have an idea as to what I am going to do once I graduate, and other reasons. My point is, I'm happy.

Maybe that is what I should be doing this holiday season. Just be happy, and thankful at that.

I love you all and I miss a lot of you. Merry Christmas!!!

Oh Yeah!!!

I'm DATEFUL!

Innocence...

I just finished reading a book called Enders Game. It is a really good read. I am looking forward to the rest of the series. Anyways, it has a really interesting story line, one that brought up a few thoughts that I would like to share.

Ender is a kid (as in the beginning of the book) who has been monitored three of the first six years of his life. They monitor him to see if he is able enough to join the International Fleet (which is like the worlds army in space). So he ends up going to school in space at the age of six. That is about as far as I want to go with telling you about the book. What I found so interesting about this book is the age in which he is doing some of the things he does. All that happens in the book (which is a lot) happens before his 12th birthday.

This book was written in the 70's so it is not like the author wrote it knowing of all the crap that is going on in our generation. Kid's are losing their childhood too quickly. They no longer have the chance to be kids. Their parents are loading their schedule with all kinds of extra curricular activities.

It doesn't help when sex and homosexuality and greed and hatred are being preached to us through the media. My nine year old brother is starting to ask questions. Mind that he has already had "The Talk". Where in their tiny heads do they draw the line between what is right and wrong? Sometimes it is even foggy for me.

Random I know, but it is just so disappointing.

Got Milk???

Marvelous Light...

"I can see the light that is coming
For the heart that holds on..."

"Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness out of shame
by the cross you are the truth
you are the life you are the way"

"The Word gave life to everything that was created,
and his life brought light to everyone.
The light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness can never extinguish it.

John 1:4-5 NLT

Be the LIGHT. Live in the LIGHT. Love in the LIGHT. Be everything that you are called to be in the LIGHT. So that someday, it won't be a challenge to be the light, because you will live among people of light. Living among the brightest light that has ever shone. The Light of God!

Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.

Philippians 2:14-15

Signs...

Ok so this whole inspiration for this new post came to me a whole hour ago so it's a little scratchy with the details. Forgive me if I don't clarify my thoughts wholly.

So often, in the media, movies, whatever; where ever, people are always looking for a sign. A sign from God to show them their way. The path that they need to take. The choice they need to make. Sometimes I just can't help but wonder if we are over examining what maybe just a normal happening. Is that crazy, I mean am I the only one who feels this way? I wish I had some philosophical or theological comparison here but I am going blank. I guess we do over examine things, I do. But then, on the other hand, I know that God does speak to us in weird ways. For some reason I really want to tie this together with all of my pre-destination and free will opinions. I'm a free will kind of guy. So I guess you could say that it's hard for me to believe that God would present a situation in which I suddenly come upon a life changing epiphany. I would rather believe that He presented the opportune moment but He didn't "make" it happen. I am not a puppet that didn't have a choice. It's more of a t.v. show or a movie, the script is written, but how well you play the role is up to you. Yeah, if that makes any sense. I think that a lot of our choices come down to the way that you look at your everyday life. How and on what premises do you make your decisions.

I had my chance to disciple today, and I failed to take it. The whole time I was sitting there, knowing what I was suppose to do, what I needed to do. That is what I am getting at though, we have the choice. So make it according to what that christian that you know you are would want to do. Not that false self that people see everyday. I think Eldredge says it well with the whole false self thing, however, I don't have it memorized and I don't have my book. I will just have to quote it at a later date.

What did I do...

What did I do to deserve that comment?

Google Earth

Creeper

Your face, Your moms face, Your face feels nice

Tu Madre

Stop making everyone's life hard

3:10 to Yuma?

Story of my life

Pretty much

Wrong!

Point (Which I am winning, just so you know)

and of course, Jonathan's Face.

I think that covers it, yup.

I'm Sorry But It's A Must...

I wish I knew words enough to describe the phenomena in which I was just enticed to. FRINGE! Killer butterflies, hallucinations, accessing a dead mans memory, dead man killing a real living person, and hypnosis are all crazy reasons of saying that I love this show. J.J. Abrams has done it again. LOST, FRINGE, and now STAR TREK. He is a genious.

Ok enough of me sounding like I am advertising (although I would highly suggest you watch the both of these shows) cause I am obviously speaking to deaf ears. I just wish there was someone that I could talk to and share a common love with these shows. You all simply have NO IDEA.

January 21...

Call it an obsession, call it true love, call it whatever you like. My point is on January 21 the whole world is going to be turned upside down with the return of televisions best show.

LOST

I watched the beauty's watch the fire
and the fire burn the beauty in their eyes.
-The Manchester Orchestra

I think that quote pretty much wraps up everything there is to know about the show. Well, not really actually, philosophically speaking though. Expect the unexpected. And definitely don't get to invested with your likings of a character. Oh my gosh I can't wait.

Back to Faith...

Ok so I am so excited right now. Lately I have been stressing so much about the finances of my trip to Peru. I raised 20 dollars right off the bat but since have not raised anything. So I was pretty stressed. To the point of not even checking to see if any more donations had come in. So at the beginning of last week, upon reading a post from a fellow team member, I was convicted to hand it over to God. Like I should have done all along. I have been praying daily that He'll just take the stress away from me and do what He will with it. I decided to give it a couple of days before I checked again. So tonight I got up the courage to check my support status. Another donation came in. Yup, that's right. It is like it is God's way of telling me that I just have to have faith. Thank you father!!!

Talk Show???

Okay this isn't going to be one of those real long, random post. Well, Random yeah, but not long.

I was just watching a preview for an upcoming Dr. Phil show. The episode is going to be about a sex cult. One of those typical shows when this millionaire has regular people on his show, and these people spill their guts about all of their problems and all of the world get to see your miserable life broadcasted on our television ......... you get the idea.

It struck me that we live in a country where people can make money off of your problems. Is that right? I don't know, I'm done now.

Hands Down...

Commodus: Rise. Rise.

[Maximus stands up, clenching an arrow head in his right hand]

Commodus: Your fame is well deserved, Spaniard. I don't think there's ever been a gladiator to match you. As for this young man, he insists you are Hector reborn. Or was it Hercules? Why doesn't the hero reveal himself and tell us all your real name? You do have a name.

Maximus: My name is Gladiator.

[turns away from Commodus]

Commodus: How dare you show your back to me! Slave, you will remove your helmet and tell me your name.

Maximus: [removes helmet and turns around to face Commodus]

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

[Commodus trembles in disbelief]

Ok so pretty much that is the best part in the whole movie. Hands down... Russell Crowe!!! That is all I have to say about this subject.

"Oh Boy..."

Are we really this far in deep? Are we really at this point in our lives, again? It seems that the only good Darin did for us was to keep us from tearing each others heads off (not really all he did for us.) Really, a mediator? Have we really come to this, again, must I ask? Competition, rivalries, cliques, gossiping...? All these things seem to be exactly who we have become as a youth group. They describe it pretty well anyways. We are divided. Again. It seems like it took a huge event to break us from this past; reoccurring form of life. Is it true? Is all a youth minister good for is to mediate. To make us one. It is sickening that we put this drama on a youth pastors life at the job, life I guess would be just as true. Do we as brothers and sisters really need to deprave our lives at the church to the pulp, with all of this crap. From the outside it looks like a youth group that not even I want to attend. Maybe that is being a bit dramatic.

We are cliquish but we are all guilty. For one to accuse another of being a clique is just simply a condescending hypocrite. Which must I say, once again, we are all, in fact, guilty of it. I ask again, is a youth minister simply put in place to mediate. To bring together and unite. Is that it? I want so much more from the youth group that I attend, that I commune with, that I share with, and that I call my brothers and sisters, than to be just simply united. Someone once had the same vision that I sit here and write about. And he achieved it, he made it happen so to say. He didn't just sit back and see what arose from it. He dove in. He challenged, he walked his talk and talked his walk. If that makes any since. Are we so different as to hate.

This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is, time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living.

-Romans 13:11-12

The day is coming, soon, that we will be judged according to what we have done here on earth. (Not to say that actions get us to heaven.) For what we BELIEVED in. For what we LIVED our lives for, apart from all of this bickering and fighting and so on and and so on towards one another. I don't want to be stuck in this rut of judging, or hate, or opposition. I could go on.

Wow, a lot of that was dramatic. I apologize. I guess this is just another one of those random posts in which I rant and complain and offer up no solution. Like I said... OH Boy!!!

Dear Wormwood...

"... The reason is this. To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about HIs love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth." Here is my favorite part. "He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself-creatures whose life, on its miniatures scale, will be qualitatively like His own, not because He has absorbed them because their wills freely conform to His. We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in; He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and and flows over. Our war aim is a world in which Our Father Below has drawn all other things into himself; the Enemy wants a world full of beings united to Him but still distinct."

C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

I think it doesn't get any better than that. A demon admitting the truth about this spiritual warfare of life. It is clear that he knows what God wants but for some reason or another wants the opposite. He admits that God wants sons while "the father below" wants cattle that can become food.

When the Sinner Meets the Savior...

It was just a normal school night, dinnertime, and the table was being set. I am but an only child living with my mom for my father died years ago, before I was born. My mother told me that we were going to be having company over tonight and that I should set the table for three. I was weary at first because I was shy and didn't talk much, and wasn't to fond of the idea of having to eat with someone I have never met. But, I still set the table for three, unaware of who the guest was that will be dining with tonight.

My mind began to wonder who my mom had met this time. Was it someone from work, from the store, some guy she met at my soccer game. I was unsure until I remembered how much time she had been spending at the some place called church. It was unsettling with me, the thought of having some crazy Christian man dating my mother. Who knows what he will convince her to think. Well okay, it sounded better than her dating some of the guys she had seen, I didn't think it could get much worse after that round with the guy she met on the street.

My life after school consisted of a few things. Soccer practice at 3:00. Piano practice at 4:00 only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Any other day I just hung out with Jared, my friend of 8 years. Every night though I was always home by 5:30 in which I would spend the rest of my time up until supper doing homework and catching up on the latest of the happenings in our small town on the local news. I thought it was striking that my mother had not began to bake supper as it was nearing 6:30, the time in which we usually dined.

My mother opened the bread drawer and pulled out a new loaf of bread, tossed it to me and told me to set it on the table. I did so only to return to the kitchen to see my mother open a brand new bottle of wine. I was beginning to wonder what kind of meal she had in mind. She went into the dining room and sat down at the table only to peer at me with the kind of look that I took as, “Well, aren't you going to sit down too?”

I sat down and asked my mother, “Are we not going to wait for our company to show up?”

She looked up at me and said, “He is already here son.”

“Mom are you going mad” I asked

At that time she bent over and pulled from under her chair a book. A really big book. She opened it to a page around half way through. By this time I was lost, we are having supper (bread and wine) with a man that is not even here, and my mom is planning on reading to me from a book that I have never seen before starting from the middle? Like I said I was lost.

“Son have you ever wondered why we are put on this earth?” She asked in a soft, questioning tone. “Have you ever asked yourself, 'isn't there more to this life than just going through the motions,' have you son?”

“Mom, what are you trying to say?”

“I am saying that there is more to this life than all what is seen, the unseen is what I am getting at.” She was getting excited now. “Something worth living for!”

“I guess it has crossed my mind a few times.”

“Then if there is any question left in your mind, then hear this story.”

That night she read to me the story of Jesus. All the way from the beginning, his birth, all the way to his death, his death on the cross. After hearing how emotional my mother was about this story I knew that it was not just another story. It was history, the present, and the future. It all made sense to me. From that day on I made the choice to follow Jesus. I am still learning from him everyday. I am seeing that I am not just a sinner. I am a friend, a child, the bride of Christ.

Revelation Perhaps...

So often lately I have found myself complaining about the church and how much I think that the leadership has gone bad. I rant and complain but never offer up a solution. Well I was reading today and came across this. It explains everything oh so clearly to me. I hope it speaks to you as well.

"... Each Revolutionary consents to be personally responsible for his or her spiritual state-whether that's growth or stagnation. Complaints about the pastor, church staff, programs, or other obstacles disappear from the conversation: the onus is now on the believer to put up or shut up. The failure to develop a robust spiritual life becomes the responsibility of the person God intended: you.

This shifting of responsibility will affect all dimensions of spirituality. Besides personal growth, believers will bear the obligation for performing acts of community service, promoting the gospel, growing their family in faith maturity, worshipping God regularly, developing intimacy with God, understanding and applying the content of the Scriptures, representing the Kingdom in all walks of life, investing every resource they manage for holy outcomes, and being connected to a community of God-loving people. No more waiting for others to do the job; every Revolutionary must handle the duty TO BE the Church with dedication and excellence."
-Revolution, George Barna

I think it is funny how stupid I act and how God responds by slapping me on the head and says "Kid, this is how you are suppose to do things, you were WRONG!" I love it!!!

Peru Blog...

Ok so it is starting to get exciting. For the last couple of weeks Me and Drew have been the only ones on our Peru Blog page. But now there are more people joining the trip and are sharing more of their story. It is really exciting and I urge you to get on and read about the trip and the people that I will be going with. Sorry, this whole idea came so suddenly upon seeing my own link to the page on this blog. I just thought I would let you know that you can check it out. It will keep you posted with what is going on with me and my team members. OH my gosh I am so excited!!!

Go to my links and click the one that says Peru Blog Page. Once you are there you will a page of information about the trip. On the left side there is a section named "blog contributors" there you will find my posts along with Drew's and the rest of my team's.

Saved By Grace...

"The Big Lie in the church today is that you are nothing more than a 'sinner saved by grace.' You are a lot more than that. You are a new creation in Christ. The New Testament calls you a saint, a holy one, a son of God."

A new soul, a princess, The Kings son, a prince, a child of God, worthy, hopeful, in love, a fire burning within,...

I listed some things that I think I am to God. Only because of what Jesus did for us. What else do you think He calls you other than a "sinner saved by grace?"

Viva la Vida "Living Life"...

As for the revolution, it is composed of millions of people who have already embraced the freedom and excitement introduced through new macro- and micro-models. The central message of the Revolution rings out from these experiences: Revolutionaries will respond to the presence and principles of God whenever and wherever possible, without regard to historical or societal inhibitions. The standard that concerns Revolutionaries is simple: does the mechanism provide a way of advancing my faith, without compromising Scripture or any of the passions of a true believer?

Revolution-George Barna

Thoughts by Eldredge...

'...Before Eve is drawn from Adam's side and leaves that ache that never goes away until he is with her, God gives Adam some instructions on the care of creation, and his role in the unfolding story. It's pretty basic, and very generous. "You may freely eat any fruit from the garden except fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil" (Gen. 2:16-17 NLT). Okay, most of us have heard about that. But notice what God doesn't tell Adam.

There is no warning or instruction over what is about to occur: the Temptation of Eve. This is staggering. Notably missing from the dialogue between Adam and God is something like this" "Adam, one more thing. A week from Tuesday, about four in the afternoon, you and Eve are going to be down in the orchard and something dangerous is going to happen. Adam, are you listening? The eternal destiny of the human race hangs on this moment. Now, here's what I want you to do..." he doesn't tell him. He doesn't even mention it, so as far as we know. Good grief-why not?! Because God believes in Adam. This is what he's designed to do-to come through in a pinch. Adam doesn't need play-by-play instructions because this is what Adam is for. It's already there, everything he needs, in his design, in his heart.'

All of that is not as much serious as it is funny, in my opinion. However, I think there is some truth in it. God could have told Adam what was going to happen. Eldredge thinks that it is because God believed in Adam. I think that is a good possibility. But I would like to expand some. Why would God believe in Adam if He is all seeing? If he knew what He was going to do then why would He believe in him. I guess you could raise the question, "how could God believe in anybody?" I don't know...

I have just recently found a new appreciation for Eve. I guess I have always had a bad opinion of Eve since I mean she ate the fruit and so on so on. But it was put into my perspective that Eve was the finishing touch of all creation. As Eldredge puts it in Wild at Heart, all was dark, then there was flowers, then animals, then Adam. "The triumph of God's handiwork." Then after that there is Eve. God's finishing touch. Eve, the beginning woman. I don't know. You got to appreciate that. I like Eldredge's remark as if he were talking from Adam's point of view. "Wow!" It makes me curious. How pretty was she? What kind of mother was she to her children? What kind of life did she live? What kind of woman was she? I think I can imagine what Adam was like. He was fierce, masculine, brave, and God fearing. It is just an incredible thought. What were these people like thousands of years ago. Sorry, it is just kind of mind blowing to me that's all.

Quotes...

How would telling people to be nice to one another get a man crucified? What government would execute Mister Rogers or Captain Kangaroo?
-Philip Yancey

Safe? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good.

-I'll leave you to figure this one out. I knew who it was before I saw who said it.

I Missed You...

Why is it that every time I turn around there is provocative activity. It doesn't take much to see the world turning in lust, or homosexuality, or just simply sin. Why is it that the lost are so out of touch with what we are called to do. Maybe it is that they do know what we are suppose to do but simply refuse. I am watching a special on t.v. about South African children. Most of which have aids or don't have any living parents or brothers and sisters. We live in a country where everything we need is handed out or sold for a price. I feel horrible about these kids in Africa. Do you think some of these kids have had the chance to hope for something more than what they can see. I guess some of them have. I guess something I struggle with right now is 'do these kids or teens or adults who have never heard of God have a chance to get into the Kingdom.' I guess the same thought can be applied to mentally disabled people. Just because they can't understand that there is a God and how much he has done for us, does that mean that they don't get to go to heaven. I guess we will never really know until we get there. I would like to think that He shows mercy on these people. And at that, condemn us for not reaching them. I think that is fair. We are called to go and make disciples of all nations... I think that includes Africa.

Below is a statement of faith by Hillsong United. The song is called (appropriately enough) The Stand.

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Back to the basics of blogging...

Have you ever found yourself wondering about how far we as human beings have come in the last 2000 years. Or even 200 years. It blows my mind that just a week ago I was at the Wheatleys house getting ready to head to Atlanta the following day. Just the thought that a week ago I was 500 miles away spending the weekend with some old friends. Or the thought that I can get to Guatemala in just a few hours. Call it the industrial revolution, or call it modern civilization, or call it whatever you please. How about the scary thought that we have weapons that can destroy single or multiple countries. It is all a little scary actually.

I guess what is even more mind blowing than all of that is how we can't come up with answers to the littlest things. We can answer the orbit speed of Mars but we can't figure out how to move mountains. We can answer how the ozone (which we can't even see) is deteriorating but we can't explain why people get cancer. We understand how to carry hundreds of people on a machine that soars through the clouds but we can't explain why a child is taken from their family. Or why good people have it so hard while bad people have it made. We have the ability to kill thousands with the drop of a bomb but we can't explain why God would give us that ability. That is to take a life.

Why would God give us the ability to do so much but leave us so stinking dumb. We are creatures of habit (quoted from sleeping at last) and when we are taken out of our comfort zone then we don't know what to do. When in all reality that is what we are called to do. Step up. Believe!! Trust not on your own understanding...!!! I love it. We tend to think that we are invincible that nothing can stop us but we are so dumb. There are so many questions I have but I guess I will just have to wait until the day comes that I get to see my Jesus face to face. I know he will have the answers. I bet He will have to correct some of the things that I thought I had all figured out.

I love you guys. I hope that this post (and the last) were worth reading.

Ok so...

Sorry I just deleted my last post. Here is the story. I got on and tried to read my comments but it didn't show up in a new window, it showed up under my post. Which is not how I have it set. So I thought maybe it was just the post so I deleted it. It didn't work. So I went into settings and made some adjustments and WALAH!!! OK so there is that story.

In response to my last post. A lot of the things I said could have sounded bad. Let me explain. To be honest, I am not where I used to be in my walk. That is opposed to a few months ago. A lot of my last post was very dramatic. I apologize. I am still a christian and I still believe in God. And I still love Him. I guess I just threw a little pity party. Forgive me? I felt like a stupid though reading your comment (Lindsey). Cause you weren't saying anything I didn't know. (No offense) I really don't know why I wrote all of the things I did. It was pointless and I am glad that I deleted it. And here I am again throwing my little pity party. As Drew would say it "Get over it!" So if you feel moved or led..... LOL

I think that we should fear hell. I think that God made it that way. But not to prompt us into loving Him. He gave us freewill. Therefore we can make that choice. Do I want to love God or do I want to do what I want? My choice is to love Him. We should fear God more than we should fear hell. Of course fearing God would come with loving God and I guess in that case you would not really have to worry about going to hell. That makes sense. I guess where that whole thought came from was me wondering about those hell and brimstone preachers out there who talk a lot about the wrath of God and of course hell. And I guess how their motive or should I say approach is to make you fear hell therefore love God. Which is how it is meant to be. That is where all of those questions came from. So don't fear, I am not losing it. The rest was true though. I think a lot of it is true for all of us at some point and time. We all get stubborn and selfish among many other things at some point in time. That is where the whole wake me up thing came from.

Okay so I think I have cleared up somethings and hopefully shared some worth while thoughts.

However I do want to read about your thoughts on predestination and freewill. It is something I feel very passionately about. I think you should make a post about it. All of you. Whoever reads this.

Just a Thought

I find it striking that thousands of years ago a priest did all of your talking to God. They would tie a rope around his ankle just in case he had fault in his life. The priest had to be sinless or should I say forgiven of his sins; righteous or pure. But when Christ died everything changed. It amazes me how much things have changed. Now, us sinners, who's lives are full of lies, lust, envy, hatred, and all other wrong doings, can just talk to God when we want to and where ever we want to. Instead of making a sacrifice for our sins we just simply say "God will you forgive me of my sins" I mean we don't really even ask anymore. At least I know I don't. With me it is just kind of expected that God will forgive me and all I have to do is say the words. The funny thing is I don't always remember, because I am such a wretched sinner, all of the things I have sinned of.

It is just simply amazing that thousands of years ago the holiest of men could be struck down by God if they entered His presence with the slightest fault, and we basically (excuse the terminology) get to use God as a tool. Love Him when we want and demand forgiveness when we want all the while being completely in His presence all day long.

My point is this. I know that God is the same day after day for thousands of years now, and He never changed, but I can't help but ask myself, "How is it that we are all not dead?'' It shows me that my fear of the Lord is not where it should be, and that I got a lot of work to do with my walk.

Maybe this is all just me in my life. I don' t know what you are going through. I hope that we can relate on some terms through all of this.

He is the stone that makes people stumble, the rock that makes them fall.
But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priest, a holy nation, Gods very own possession.
1 Peter 2: 8-9

Update

So I realize that recently I have been a crappy blogger. I apologize for that. I guess this one is not much better. I just haven't had much inspiration lately. So I thought I would right this one on what is going on in my life.

So it was the 5th of September, around 10:00 am and I was sound asleep, when my phone began to ring. IT WAS DREW!!! I had not really talked to him in a couple of days so it was a big deal. However, it being a real big deal; it was not really a big deal because I was sound asleep, if you catch my drift. I answered saying hello and he responded by saying "let's go on a mission trip." It really caught me by surprise. He went into this whole rant about how he had just finished this book called "Revolution" (Which is a really good book and you should read it) and how it had changed his whole outlook on his faith. So after him asking me if I wanted to go, with my response being yes, he said let's go to Peru. The Amazon Jungle. So I got online and checked out the details on the trip and was instantly pumped and ready.

I guess I was not really ready yet. God has a lot in store for me before I go. Anyways, so we prayed about it over the weekend and started filling out our applications on Monday. It took a while but finally I got to set up a phone interview which really Drew set up for me which is a long story. So my phone interview was yesterday and I was freaked out. The night before I had gotten absolutely no sleep at all and was really out of it. In fact most of the stuff I did yesterday I can't remember if I actually did it of if it was just a dream. So the interview. I was expecting a girl to do the interview ( cause that is who did Drew's ) but no, it was the head honcho of Ambassadors trips for AIM. So I was a little spooked and really out of it. lol But at the end of the near hour interview he told me that I had been excepted to the trip. So I am going to Peru. Now I am waiting for the "special email" that will have all I need to know about the trip inside it. So yeah that is about all I got right now.


O yeah and Lindsey You are some kind of dumb. Just thought I would remind you. LOL

So How 'Bout This...

Just keep on, My little one,
And someday you will know
Why all the trials and the grief
Were sent to try you so.
There never was a brighter day
Than this you now can see,
There never was a sweeter song
Than the one you sing to Me.
I've loved you through the darkness,
And loved you in the light;
Whenever you needed Me,
I've always been in sight.

I never left you to yourself
To battle all alone.
I've given you your sweetest joys
When you My will have done.
I do not call you servant,
I do not call you friend;
I call you My Beloved,
And I'll love you to the end.
I'll love you when the way is hard,
And when the night is long;
I'll give you strength, I'll give you hope,
I'll sing to you a song.

I'll tell you that I love you,
I'll tell you that I care,
I'll walk along beside you
And all your burdens bear.
I'll give you hope and courage
When your strength is almost gone.
We'll travel on together
Till the day that we are one...
The day I call you yonder
To heavens open skies
When I'll gather you unto Myself
And dry your tear-filled eyes.

I'll rid your heart of every pain
And heal your every loss.
I'll give you joy and peace and life
In place of every cross.
And what seems now an arduous way
Will be forgotten there,
For in My presence all is new,
And all is good and fair.
So lift your head and smile again,
And let you heartaches go;
They only cause Me grief and pain,
Because I love you so.
I love you with a tender love
That is not changed by time,
And is not less for all thy sins,
Nor could be more sublime
If though an angel's form didst bear,
Or thou a saint could be;
I love thee, not for what thou art,
But what thou art to Me.
I see thee in the holy light
Of my own deity;
I love thee with the total love
Of all eternity!

(The new )...I Love This Book

LINDSEY!!! I am so happy that you told me to buy this book. It is the most beautiful peice of literature I have ever read in my life.
This is a part of the first devotion, chapter, lesson.. whatever it is called.
Our time together is like a garden full of flowers, wheras the time you give to things is like a field of stubble.

I think that that is exactly where I am at right now. I long for my time with God and grieve the time when I am not with Him. I have seen many opportunities lately to minister to people and to help them through hard times and I am starting to see Gods purpose for me. That as to live devoted to him, while uniting all christians in service and in love. ( a little quote there from the pledge to the christian flag) But ya I mean that is what we are all called to do. To go and make disciples of every nation baptizing them in name of the father the son and the holy spirit.

I love you all,
marc

Humbled

Often I find myself being humbled by simple and very plain things in life. For instance, having to travel 200 miles to see doctor who can tell you everything about yourself. I guess I should not like the fact that other people know my body better than me but that is how it goes. I was humbled several times yesterday, let me tell you how.

Today while at the Hansens I had a very nice conversation with Drew. This does not happen often. You would think the opposite being that we spend half our days together. We began to talk about old friends who were at our old schools. I shared that though I often say I had no friends at school, I often lie. I had one friend named Dillon. We grew up together playing baseball and while all of the other jocks turned into jerks he stayed the same old Dillon. He and I shared several similarities including music. He came to the Disciple concert with me and he dominated the mosh pits.

I miss him sometimes when I think about school. I have not said a word to him since I left school. In fact the last thing I remember saying to him was "yes, I think I should go home schooled.

I then got this idea that all kids and adults at Boonville High were evil and were out to get me.
So for a while I hated them. However lately I have been humbled that people there have been wondering how I am doing, mind the fact that these were the people that I thought were out to get me. I do not know exactly how but that is what I thought. So recently people have been asking about me and I am starting to wonder if their intentions have changed, or if they themselves have been humbled themselves.

It was real interesting to see how God works in teaching us lessons. My family and I don't always get along in the best of ways. Most of the time it is my fault for letting my mouth run to much and saying stuff that I end up regretting. Last night Darin spoke of how family members have hearts too. That really hit home with me for the simple reason that I often say hurtful things to my family and them to me.

I guess that sometimes I get to thinking that since they are my family then they will truely understand that I do not mean the things that I say. However, they are human with feelings and emotions just like me. I know that when they say something hurtful to me I take offence to it and it "hurts my feelings." Unfortunately words can carry alot of weight on peoples shoulders, trust me on that. So I guess that you can say that I am learning to shut my trap and to watch what I say.

I was really humbled when I got home to the cozy home that is heated by a woodburner. I realized that my family is a good family and that though we go through a lot we are strong and we love each other.

Is your love really love,

Is my love really love,

I think our love isn't love

unless it is love to the end.

-As Cities Burn

Words

So recently I have been pondering upon what words I use and what they mean to me. For instance if I use a big word that I myself am not even sure what means, I think hmm what does that word mean, why is it a word, why can't people just say this, and stuff like that. Do not get me wrong I love words and I use them to my advantage any time I can, I have just been thinking about them alot. Weird thing to think about right? I guess, but, we use words everyday so I guess someone has to talk about them sometime.

Anyways, to what I want to talk about. Does anybody know how cuss words came about? I don't. However, lately I have been thinking, what would happen if every person just disregarded cuss words. What would our world be like. Seriosly, what if no one took offence or no one used them aiming toward harsh intentions? I think this world would be a better place.

On the other hand I think that it is just so stupid that a WORD can be bad. Whoever came up with that. Well, I thought that for a while, then I thought deeper, where do these words come from, you know, what is the source. Hate, or discontentment, or disregard to others feelings. I guess that it is sad but people must have made up "bad" words to call people. Nowadays we throw them around like they never had any meaning at all.

Then to my surprise some of our modernday curse words are words that actually do have a real meaning but I guess that somewhere along the line someone took it out of context and called someone or somthing that word and ever since it has been "bad."

I am sorry that you had to read such a crappy blog. I couldn't think of anything else to write so I wrote what was on my mind. Often what is on my mind is stupid and odd to hear. I will try not to write such lame blogs from now on.

Compassion

Hmm... Well it has been a while. Yes indeed a while. I guess I have not been blogging because well I just have not been in the blogging mood. Depressed, a little bit you could say. Yet here I sit in a tall chair at the church listening to Melody, Drew, and Bethany play their lovely music. Sometimes I am envious of musically inclined people. Jealous you could say that they stuck to their dreams and I did not. But that was of my own account. Hmm... Dreams. I tend to not dream often, however, when I do it is mere day dreaming. I often dream about my future and what I wish (as if I could plan my future as if I was playing dolls with girls) it could hold for me. The American dream, a wife, 2 kids, and a big house. So I think about what life would be like if only it was so. Then I remember my fate and what the doctors tell me and I could scream. Very loudly at that. You know ( without throwing a pity party) I don't know why God has put such a heavy burden upon me. However, can it not be a blessing too. I must make something happen in my life, for the better of course. Education on ucd and so on and so on ect.
My great aunt took care of and old sick lady, only because her nephew (who lived right down the street refused to help. My aunt cared a lot for Rose ( that was the lady's name) and when she died it really hit my aunt hard. What kills me about this story is that they auctioned all of this lady's stuff off and no one wanted Roses pictures. So they were going to throw them all away in the dumpster out back. My aunt refused for this to happen of course and so in love for Rose my aunt took the pictures. My question is how could someone do such a thing. A human beings whole life and memories were in that box and they were just going to throw it away. Gone without a trace. As if she never existed is how they were going to let it all go. That breaks my heart. How?
Now on a more comforting note; the benefit for my family was awesome last night. There was a lot of money raised and it is really going to help my family. Thanks for your prayers and concern; but at this point everything is going good in my life.
with love,
Marcus G.

Abortion

The sheer thought of writing my paper on something so disturbing is indescribably horrific. However unfortunate events result in unfortunate facts. It is the day that the complacency of ignorance gives way to the responsibility of knowledge. Abortion is wrong and there is no ethical explanation for why it is justified each and every day, each and every minute. My reasoning is not based on any religious bias or political belief, rather it is based the morality of humanity. Politicians lie and I am not fooled for they can not justify the homicidal clinics, the very crime scene where thousands of lives have been taken; stripped away from every human rights that we hold so dear to.

The question of whether or not abortion is right was asked to Presidential Cannadate Barak Hussain Obama. He responded saying "I am going to teach my daughters morals and values but if one were to slip up I don't want to punish them with a child." I don't know what kind of morals and values people usually instill in their children but I would like to think that murdering is not one of them.

Here comes the point in my paper where I let loose of all the horrific facts about abortion. The facts that the clinics, the government, and the media don't want you to know. Each day 4,000 innocent babies are killed from the reality of abortion. Can you bear the math? Each week over 25,000 babies have the most horrific crime committed to them. Furthermore 109,000 babies are killed each month, a crime hidden behind the name abortion. Each year 1.3 million babies are disposed of after what is suppose to be a simple procedure. Would it disturb you if I told you that 1/3 pregnancies end in abortion. Finally the worst of all since 1973 over 40 million babies have been aborted.

All of this may be surprising to you but it is the truth. Abortion ( still legally accepted) has killed more people than any other catastrophic event ever to occur in the United States of America. It may also surprise you that there is no debate when life of an embryo begins. Within the medical community they will tell you that life begins at conception.

At about 8 days after conception, the fertilized ovum implants in the lining of the uterus. It emits a chemical substance that weakens the mothers immune system. So that tiny body won't be rejected by the moms body. The body being fully alive and completely human is smaller than half an inch.

By the third week of pregnancy (about 21 days after fertilization) the heart begins to beat, pumping its own blood throughout the tiny human. The brain already haved formed, begins to divide into three sections, the fore brain, the mid brain and the hind brain. The same kind of brain and heart that you and I have, that of a human being.

During the next two weeks of pregnancy arms begin to form. The same arms that could throw a baseball, catch a football, or flex its muscles to brag about being strong. Also, legs begin to form, legs that could stand for the first time, holding and supporting its own weight. The same legs that could run a marathon for cancer patients or kick the base drum to the beat of a song in a famous band. Furthermore, the kidneys appear and the external part of the ear begins to portray from its head. Finally the baby's hands and wrist begin to form.

Beginning in the sixth week of the baby's life the brain emits waves that can be registered with an EEG. This is the way they determine if a baby is alive at birth. The heartbeat can now be heard with a special stethoscope. By this time the baby may be able to feel pain. Also, the bones begin to form.

At seven weeks of the pregnancy, startle responses are observed as well as female ovaries can be identified. By this time the embryos fingers and toes are separated. All these body parts are that of a human, a living being.

By the eighth week that the baby has been alive all of its internal organs have formed. About 90% of all structures found in an adult are now present on and in this human being. However the embryo is only about one and a half inch long. About 80% of 8 week old embryos demonstrate that they use their right hand dominantly over their left. The baby begins to demonstrate breathing motions (though there is no air present in the womb). Furthermore the kidneys begin to produce urine.

Now that you know that the creation of a human, baby, embryo, living being, or fetus (all the same of course) is an incredible process I want you to know this. It is the baby who initiates labor. The baby does this by stimulating the adrenal cortex, this releasing a hormone to cause the uterus to contract. It is the baby who decides the time to give birth.

It amazes me that anybody knowing this could possibly have an abortion. However, I do not think that any woman knowing what I just wrote would have this "simple procedure" done to the dependent fetus living inside her. I have read testimonies regarding women having had an abortion. They are not happy about it. Most struggle to carry on with their own life having known that they forbidded their child a chance in this world. They were lied to. Being told that having an abortion is an easy choice and that there is no shame in doing it.

The facts behind this are sad, depressing, and very heart breaking. I am a proud American, but not so proud of the things that go on in America. I am an American who thinks that murder is wrong and that abortion is homicide.

Note that in the last three hours of writing this paper over 500 babies were aborted.