Humbled

Often I find myself being humbled by simple and very plain things in life. For instance, having to travel 200 miles to see doctor who can tell you everything about yourself. I guess I should not like the fact that other people know my body better than me but that is how it goes. I was humbled several times yesterday, let me tell you how.

Today while at the Hansens I had a very nice conversation with Drew. This does not happen often. You would think the opposite being that we spend half our days together. We began to talk about old friends who were at our old schools. I shared that though I often say I had no friends at school, I often lie. I had one friend named Dillon. We grew up together playing baseball and while all of the other jocks turned into jerks he stayed the same old Dillon. He and I shared several similarities including music. He came to the Disciple concert with me and he dominated the mosh pits.

I miss him sometimes when I think about school. I have not said a word to him since I left school. In fact the last thing I remember saying to him was "yes, I think I should go home schooled.

I then got this idea that all kids and adults at Boonville High were evil and were out to get me.
So for a while I hated them. However lately I have been humbled that people there have been wondering how I am doing, mind the fact that these were the people that I thought were out to get me. I do not know exactly how but that is what I thought. So recently people have been asking about me and I am starting to wonder if their intentions have changed, or if they themselves have been humbled themselves.

It was real interesting to see how God works in teaching us lessons. My family and I don't always get along in the best of ways. Most of the time it is my fault for letting my mouth run to much and saying stuff that I end up regretting. Last night Darin spoke of how family members have hearts too. That really hit home with me for the simple reason that I often say hurtful things to my family and them to me.

I guess that sometimes I get to thinking that since they are my family then they will truely understand that I do not mean the things that I say. However, they are human with feelings and emotions just like me. I know that when they say something hurtful to me I take offence to it and it "hurts my feelings." Unfortunately words can carry alot of weight on peoples shoulders, trust me on that. So I guess that you can say that I am learning to shut my trap and to watch what I say.

I was really humbled when I got home to the cozy home that is heated by a woodburner. I realized that my family is a good family and that though we go through a lot we are strong and we love each other.

Is your love really love,

Is my love really love,

I think our love isn't love

unless it is love to the end.

-As Cities Burn